Why do we want so much, but give so little to God!

I want a new car, I want a bigger house, why can’ t I have a better job, I want… blah blah blah blah blah, please tell me why should you have these things? How often have you, or somebody that you know made these remarks in the last week? I know that I have said this at least a thousand times in the last few days myself. I mean, you treat people nice, go to work everyday, take care of your family, you should have these simple things right? Well, I use to wonder why was it so hard  for me to get the things that I wanted, and all of a sudden it hit me, I am not being true to the person that controls all things, and that person is GOD.

You see, when we need money, we search for all kinds of schemes and ideas, which is cool, but you first need to go to GOD and ask him, “what is it that I need to do?” I have all of these goals, but some of my goals don’t seem to be what I need to be pursuing. I had to be honest with myself, some of the goals that I had did not line up with what I knew GOD would have me doing. I have always been told that I am a good motivator, and a good person to talk to, so I knew that I needed to be involved in something that would help people. Helping people includes spreading the word go GOD, because my words alone won’t fix anything without his inspiration.. I mean, how can you go wrong with making GOD happy. Making GOD happy can only help you in the finance department.

Ok, I got off of the subject a little, but what I am trying to say is, spend time with GOD, and you will not only get what you need and want, you will find out what it is that you should be doing. We are always looking in the wrong direction, but we have to bring it to GOD first. I use to come home and hop on the internet to write the next post, check my affiliate accounts to see how much I have made, and then I end up being disappointed. Well I was a fool, I should have been picking up my BIBLE, giving GOD his time, and let him guide me through the rest of the day. I’m not spending all of my time flooding the internet, I am relaxing and understanding what his word is, and then I’ m lead to do my thing.This very post is GOD using me as an instrument, these words are not of my human mind alone, because our minds are  full of junk. I have made up my mind to commit myself to GOD, and the rest will fall in place. God bless ya, and take it to GOD first. Go ahead, spend a little time with him, its amazing what you will find, and you will kick yourself when you realize that you should have been truly down with him. Check out the book… Knowing God Intimately: Being as Close to Him as You Want to Be

What I learned last week…What’s going on??

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Courtesy of Wikipedia.com

Last week. Wow. For me, the week didn’t really start until Wednesday, July 18. It was my last day at work before I was to enjoy 5 consecutive days away from that office. Also, it was the day before my youngest son’s birthday. My boy turned 10 years old on Thursday, July 19.

Ten years ago, in Austin, Texas, at 4:30 a.m., I started feeling contractions. My ex-husband drove us (me, himself and my oldest boy) to North Austin Medical Center. My ex called his side of the family (our closest family) and he also called my Dad and Gramma, who live in Irving, Texas, about 3.5 hours away from Austin. Later, he called my good friends, Susanna and Camille to come pick up my oldest boy. And, we called my friend and co-author of the poetry collection I published in 2007, Shai.

Shai and I worked together at the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Austin, where most of the women there became my extended family. Shai left the Court to pursue her happiness (I am still so proud of her). I worked with Susanna at the law firm I worked for before coming to the Court. Sanna was my ace. I learned so much from her and I cherish her to this day. My hope is that I can have her guest blog here in the near future.

But, back to the birth. I was in labor for 12 hours. Pop was born at 4:30 p.m. to a room full of family and friends. We had a great experience that day. However, the doctor on duty (my doctor was in Chicago at a conference) was more eager to show a new nurse what a c-section was all about as opposed to taking care of me. I won’t get into it completely, but he forgot one major step before sending me upstairs to my private room. This major screwup caused me a lot of pain and a big mess. I’ll sum it up with this: Shai was there to help me when I started erupting and she vowed to never have kids as the result of what I went through.

Anyhow, Pop is 10 years old now and he is really growing into himself. He is an Honor Roll student, an athlete and a compassionate young man. I am proud of him. As part of his birthday celebration, we decided to go see The Dark Knight Rises at its 12:01 a.m. premiere at our favorite local theater.

I don’t need to tell you why I will never see another midnight premiere. I won’t give any credit to the maniacal force which caused me to think differently about supporting my ultra-fave superhero flicks. Nope, he doesn’t even warrant a link.

But, what I will do is share my condolences with the families of the precious lives that were senslessly taken.

For the family of the 6 year-old, whose mother is still in the hospital, to the family of the Navy veteran who served 3 tours of duty in Iraq, to the family of the aspiring sportscaster, to the family of the 27 year-old newlywed who was celebrating his birthday, to the family of the gentleman who dove in front of his girlfriend and her brother to shield them from the gunfire, and to the others who transitioned on Friday – and to those still in the hospital and/or out of the hospital dealing with mental and physical wounds, I pray for comfort for you all. I pray for the peace of knowing that your loved ones are in a far better place. I pray for healing for you all.

For the family in San Diego who had to have felt transported outside of their bodies when they received the call that their own loved one allegedly caused such turmoil, I pray for your comfort and security as well. I pray that any guilt you might feel would be cast out of your minds. I pray for healing for you all as well.

While I’m praying, I also send super-special parent prayers for Tameka Foster and Ryan Glover, who decided to let their son, Kile, go on to be with the Lord. I cannot imagine how you must feel and I pray for peace, comfort and healing for you all – including Kile’s siblings and friends. God bless you all.

I have always been a compassionate person, often battling feelings of wanting to save the world. A church test on what gifts I possess showed that I have the gift of showing mercy, which explained a lot of why I often feel the way that I feel. I always have this awesome feeling of needing to “help.” Often, I feel powerless because of my surroundings, what I don’t have, what I can’t offer, etc. But, what I learned last week is that when I am overwhelmed with emotion and have no clue what to do, prayer works.

I really cannot add much more to this post, except to offer the following advice. Hug your children today. Tell them how much they mean to you. Cherish the time you have with the people God has given you.

Shanice

My favorite episode of Martin is on……

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I am a fanatic of the television show Martin. My favorite episode is on TV One right now. It’s the wedding episode, where Gina and Martin elope to the islands to marry because things got too hectic with their families back home on the mainland.

I always cry when I watch this episode. I’m a sucker for romance. My second favorite episode is when Martin proposed to Gina in the park and Brian McKnight serenaded her. I still love that song, although I like Alicia Keys’ version a little better.

This episode, along with the episode of A Different World when Whitley and Dwayne got married, makes me dream about my own wedding one day. I married my ex-husband at the Justice of Peace’s office years ago, but I always wished I’d had a “real” wedding.

Ah, a girl can dream.

What I learned last week

I’ve often heard people say that nothing worth having comes easily. It’s one of those phrases most people don’t care to hear. Or, at least I don’t care to hear such a phrase. I’m what one might call hard-headed. (My dad actually does call me this.) For years, I’ve been banging my head against different versions of this:

Courtesy of: photo-dictionary.com

 

I guess, somewhere in my “get-rich-quick-styled” mind, or, rather my “get-happy-quick-styled” mind, I thought my superior talent, skills and experience would eventually catapult me to the top of the world. For those who know me, I don’t really need to sit at the top of the world. I just want to be happy and live in peace. But, last week, I found out that attaining that ultimate happiness doesn’t come easily either.

I learned that, while we are each equipped with the “happy gene,” not all of us enjoy this gift as often as we should. In fact, some of us routinely choose to live unhappily. That might be overshooting a bit. I’ll speak for myself as opposed to generalizing.

In every situation, I choose to react a certain way. For many years, I told myself that I could not control my emotions. I listened to other people tell me I was “too emotional,” and I fought back by saying ignorant things like: “this is just the way I am.” I’ve lost friends because of this self-taught characteristic. Well, calling them “friends” is a little silly. A friend wouldn’t un-friend me because of emotional issues, unless I was abusive (and I wasn’t). Nevertheless, this trait within me turned many people off.

The truth is that I can control my emotions. I had to learn to lean on God when trouble arises. And He has delivered me from emotional outbursts. I have to repeat that often, because to say anything contrary to that is a lie. Straight up.

Last week, I got myself involved in yet another work battle. And in true Shanice fashion, it wasn’t even my battle to begin with. See, I have this other thing about me that feels like I need to stand up for those who are being wronged. I’m getting too old for this crap. Anyhow, I let the beast loose and I am now in uncomfortable terrain at the office. But, this time I am not worried, because that was the last battle. The war for equality in that office is over. I’m switching things up.

First, I am going on a “martyr strike.” Yep, I am no longer defending the honor of anyone (including myself) in the office. It is not my battle to fight.

Second, I am going on a quasi-monk-vow-of-silence retreat. I am going to shut up. Perhaps I might become a better listener.

Finally, I am going to God first when I feel threatened, upset, envious, enraged or unhappy. Doing so will not only give me time for the notorious count-to-ten cool down period, but it will also provide a gentle reminder to love myself and love others.

I hope that for next week’s “What I learned” post, I will be able to detail how happy I was to enjoy the nature around me and how peaceful my commute was.

I’m still on the journey to better character.

Do you have any “get-happy-quick” mantras that help you when you get down?

Work wear Wednesdays

Hi, friends! Work wear Wednesdays is gonna be a shortie tonight, due to an awesome Bible study I had!

Elie Tahari is my favorite suit and work dress designer. Not only are the suits fashionable and conservative, Tahari garments are of great quality and stand up against high wear-age. I normally purchase Tahari from Macy’s or TJMaxx. It’s hot in Atlanta, so I’m not posting any pantsuits. But, hopefully, we’ll have many, many more Work wear Wednesdays so I can share my pantsuit faves for the colder months.

I like the following suit because it’s more chic than your average skirt suit:

Courtesy of Macys.com

This next suit is a great pick for happy hour or a dinner date after work:

Courtesy of Macys.com

Once I’m able to spend more money on myself for work clothes, I will have at least 2 months worth of Tahari suits!

Who’s your favorite work wear designer?

Peace and blessings,

Shanice

Tuesday Tops

Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you that Jessica Simpson has held down the title of my favorite fashionista for several years. Since it’s the first-time mom’s birthday today, Tuesday Tops is dedicated to Ms. Simpson. Happy Birthday, Jessica!

Here are a few of my top faves from Jessica’s collection. **All images lifted from www.jessicasimpson.com**

Over the past year, God has given me higher self-esteem. For many years, I did not like how I looked. As such, I didn’t care about how I dressed and I balked at any clothing that seemed too “girly” or “feminine” because of my former deep-seeded, misconstrued self-image. Since God delivered me from those horrific thoughts, I have fallen in love with dresses. This is my favorite dress from Jessica’s collection:

It’s got all the girly girl flavor that I need: it’s “sheath-tastic” (a must for my shape), it’s got flowers and the skirt is flowy! Check, check and check!

The following dress is flirty, chic and classic, and I love the color:

Perfect for a Spring or Summer wedding, cocktail party or date night. You can edge it up with a sexy and sassy shoe, dress it down with cute flats or sandals or spice it up with a fierce pair of Jessica’s famous pumps! Hmm, how about these:

Yeah, my style is a little unconvential, but I love being unique. If I can’t match a shoe shade perfectly to a dress, I have to go multi or black. And I’m in too good a mood right now to just go black!

Alright, ladies, help me out with a purse or handbag and some jewelry!

See you tomorrow for Workwear Wednesdays!

inspired heiress

Monday Musings

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Monday is the toughest day of the week for me (unless I have the day off), and going into the office does not improve my mood! My biggest dream is to never have to work on Mondays! The only solace I have on Mondays comes from retail therapy.

I try to visit my local mall on weekends or on Monday after work. I buy myself something nice. Normally it’s not a large item, and very inexpensive. I’m a bargain hunter.

I’m starting a new section on this blog. It’s for my girls. Monday Musings will feature some fashions that have caught my eye. I don’t profess to be a full-fledged fashionista yet, but I love clothes, shoes, handbags and jewelry. Thanks to my girly-girl friends (shout out to Care Bear and Shonda Boo), I’m becoming quite the fashion-maven-in-training.

My mother turned me into a shoe girl many years ago. So, my first offering for Monday Musings is a basic black must have. You can find this shoe on my all-time favorite online shoe store.

Sassy Mary Jane style pump by Steve Madden. Picture courtesy of http://www.endless.com

I’m a single mom of two, so I generally shop for a versatile shoe. Historically, I’ve been quite conservative with shoe color – sticking with blacks, browns and navy blues. Every so often, I’d strike out and get a cute red or maroon/burgundy color.

Lately, I’ve gone outside my comfort zone and now I’m buying edgier shoes in many more colors.

But, for our first Monday Musing, I’m going safe and versatile with this sassy Mary Jane style pump.

Since I’m still in training, I want my ladies to comment and post pictures of outfits suitable for this shoe. We’ll take a poll and choose the best ensemble. I’ll find something cool to giveaway as a gift!

Sound fun?

Let’s go!

You better follow God…if you know whats Good! (A lesson for Men)

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Calling all men, calling all men, just where in Gods name are you. I seen you chasing behind that girl! You know the girl that you were drooling over in the club about 9 months ago when you were hanging out with the fella’s. She looked so good to you that you just had to have her . I bet you promised her the world and she believed it to. Didn’t she have a baby… oh its not yours you say, what’s that, oh she was sleeping around huh, ok ok. She slept with you on the first night, Oh she’s a whore now, ok how convenient is that. Want you take the DNA test, oh you don’t have the money, ok I understand that. So when did you realize that she was a whore, was it after you found out that she was knocked up, ok well yeah I feel ya, I thought so. So what are you doing in here, child support, I thought you said that it wasn’t your child, ooooh, you signed the birth certificate, ok ok. Well you take it easy bro. It happens to the best of us.

What about you brother, what you doing in here? Ok, you just got caught up in the streets, I can understand that. You had to do what you had to do right. After all, there aint no jobs out thee, so you had to slang them drugs right, I can dig it. Oh you was taking care of your family, ok.  So did you ever get an education or go to college, no, ok ok. So did you job hunt everyday, oh you didn’t have a car so you could go, what about the bus, haha you don’t like the bus, ok I can dig them excuses. So how long you got, 10 years, 10 years is a long time bro. Well, you did what you had to do, don’t feel bad, it’s not like you could have went to school,or hopped on the bus to look for a job are nothing. I get it, you good, your family probably got somebody else taking care of them now.

Wassup bro, I seen you on tv. Yeah they said that you filled ole boy up with plenty of holes. Why you do him like dat son, he was a crip, oh I get it, you one of them gang bangers boys. So I guess ole boy disrespected you huh, no, oh so he probably did something to one of ya boys, no, what did he do bro, he had on a red shirt. You gots to be kidding me bro, ok ok don’t get mad at me, who am I to judge, you know what I’m saying. You did what you was born to do, you know, you probably didn’t have no family, so you joined a gang. Say what, oh you had a nice family, ok then, you probably didn’t get the attention that you needed, oh you did,whats that, oh you joined because your boys asked you to. Dam, you young tho,we make mistakes when we young, whaaat, oh you 30, ok then well do ya thang son.

Who am I you ask, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Actually you know me very well. You see that dude up there, I got his girl pregnant. You see that dude right there, I snitched on him for selling drugs, and I am the dude that turned you in on crime stoppers for killing ole boy. My name is lucifer, and you dudes allowed me to influence you to do stupid things. You chose to listen to me over GOD, now deal with it. When you were out there in the streets, you should have been giving some time to God! You allowed me to put evil thoughts in ya head and then you were foolish enough to act on them. When you did, I make fools out of ya. That dude never should have slept with a woman he barely knew, the other dude never should have touched them drugs, he should have took his ass to school, or hopped on that bus and found a job. You, you should have listened to your dad, you had a good family and you blew it. You got a life sentence, and you are going to spend it with me. Now I’m going to depress your families. Good job son!

Shake the devil off, and go towards God Fella’s. Our families need us! We are suppose to be leaders, but when we allow the devil break us down, it creates disaster. Check out the book The Deal, the Dance, and the Devil: A Novel.

Can’t Find A Job, Well Create One!

Have you ever heard someone say, “I can’t find a job”, or how about “I hate my job, I need to find something else”, or how about this one, “I wish I did not have to go to work today”. Well if you are anything like me, you have probably heard all of the above. The next time you hear those words, tell them to “Start your own Business”. I know when most think about starting a business, they think about all of the money that it’s going to take, and all of the stuff that they are going to need, which is natural, but in reality it’s not that hard. If you want to start your business, just do it. It really is just as simple as that.

Now I did not say that you were going to quite your day job right off, or even have some million dollar corporation, but you may be able to supplement your income, or even match it. A business does not have to include some fancy office with marble tables, and fancy champagne glasses for your corporate meetings, but it may include a room in your house with a friend of yours helping you out.

Now let’s be real for a minute, if you can’t find a job, or if you hate the job that you are own and can’t afford to up and quite, you probably can’t afford to invest a bunch of money. It’s like anything else, you have to work with what you do have. Sometimes we may have to take that fast food job because we have nothing else, well its the same way with business. You might not be able to jump out there with business of your dreams, but you will have the gratification of working for yourself, which is always a perk.

First, you would need to think of anything that you can do. Do you have a hobby? Well turn that hobby into a business. Now no matter what the business is, you will have to take it seriously, because you will want to give anything with your name attached to it a hundred percent. For example, can you clean windows, can you bake cookies, or can you design business cards? If yes, you can start a business. I am a firm believer in using what you have around you. You already know how to do these things, well the next thing to do is finding your target audience. What type of people needs this done, and where can you find them?

Lets assume that chose the window cleaning business. All you would need is window cleaner, a ladder, and some paper towels. When I think of window cleaning, I think of the Mall. You know they have the store fronts made of nothing but glass right, so how about going through your local mall(s), and asking each store manager could they use someone to clean their windows. I am willing to bet you someone is going to say yes for the simple fact that they do not want to do it. As long as your prices are reasonable, you should be good. Your equipment is cheap, so you would not have to charge as much as a business with a high overhead.

Now here is how the devil is going to play you! He is going to put those dream killing thoughts in your head. You know those, “you can’t do that”, or “you do not know how to talk to people well enough to get their business”. All kinds of discouraging thoughts will arise. When you start to get those fears, remember this, you have to work for someone, why not do it for yourself. If you are not good at talking to people, get that outspoken friend of yours to be your spokesperson. Let them go around and get your business for you, and you show up and do the work. That’s the beauty in having friends, family, or a strong network. Oh so you don’t have any friends right, well there is a website called odesk.com where you can hire people very cheaply to handle all of your secretarial needs. Pay them to make the phone calls to solicit your business. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES!

Now if you work this small, simple, yet effective type of business, I guarantee it will pay off. This is something that can be done after work as part-time, and eventually full-time. Now window cleaning may not be your thing, but this is just an example on how you can make some extra money, or develop an income when you are out of a job. In today’s economy, there are so many people not working that are disgusted with looking for a job. You have to pay those bills regardless, so if you don’t have a job, create one.

If you are into the internet, you might want to try niche blogging. HAHA, I had to throw that out here, because this is my business of choice. I wont get into that today, but if you are interested, feel free to contact me, and read up on that in your google search or click here! You can do whatever you want to do, believe that like you believe in JESUS, because with GODS help, you can do anything that is in sync with him. Peace and Love.

Kataurus “King” Braswell is the founder of http://www.blackconvo.com. He has a passion for writing on topics that inspires, motivates, and helps people. He is also a freelance blogger. He can be reached at kingbraswell@blackconvo.info

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